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The time I didn’t want to hold you.

That time was tonight. I did everything the same way I’ve been doing it for the past month. It had been 3 hours since you last ate. I fed you 3 ounces. I changed your diaper. I put on your lotion. I put on your footed pjs. You were burped and swaddled. I put you to sleep with your paci. I walked away thinking about the hundreds of things to do still. You kept spitting your paci out. You continued…

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