God has always been a constant in my life and I have known Him since I was a little girl but it wasn’t until my early twenties that I took that step and placed both feet in Him and chose to walk by His side fully for the rest of my life. That step was really big for me and it has changed my life in so many ways!
I was 20 and I had met the guy that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It was 5 months into our relationship and we were already talking marriage. We were inseparable and so in love. Both of our families knew we were going to get married, it was only a matter of time. His parents are very Christian and he was brought up in a christian house from the day he was born and I drew closer to Christ the moment we started dating. He was in the military and it wasn’t but 9 months into our relationship that he got deployed for a year. We toughed that out and it was the hardest times for us but we got tons of stationary (ok lets be honest, I got tons of cute stationary, ha!), we got webcams and promised each other we would write, call and webcam as much as we could and we did! He arrived home safely and we continued being us.
One day we had agreed that we would go down to Newport Beach and window shop, lay out and have lunch. After lunch he insisted we go walk along the beach and I admit it was a little cold so I had declined at first but he was so persistent about it and I promise I still didn’t even think anything of it until he pulled out a card from his back pocket and said here I got you a card, as I started reading it I had noticed he was no longer walking beside me and at the end of the card it read, I have something to ask you. I turned around and he was kneeling on one knee asking me to be his wife and the shock and happiness I felt was so overwhelming, I said yes of course!
Like every other girl, I was buying wedding magazines, painting my nails since I knew I would have my hands being stared at for the next couple weeks, and I was pinning like crazy! I was in a fairytale and I was going to be his wife! This was the best gift I thought I had ever been given. I was so happy. But, it took a turn.
But in this heartache and what I thought was the worst time of my life, and ya know maybe it was but it took this to make me realize that my idol had become my boyfriend/fiance. I should have been giving God most of my attention, not an earthly man. I thought that I could not survive without my boyfriend and it took this awful heartbreak for me to completely fall to my knees and repent of what I had been doing. I had replaced almost everything in my life with my boyfriend and I was breaking my own heart by disobeying God.