I read an article on FB a few weeks ago and those 6 words changed meal times for this one mom. YOU DON’T HAVE TO EAT IT.
I am still trying to wrap my mind around that phrase because I’m thinking if I say that to Oakland he literally wouldn’t eat it and would go hungry. That scares me.
Dinner time is really difficult for me because it’s a time when there is a lot of arguing, yelling, frustration, and worry. ALL on my part. I hate it. I don’t like acting that way. I don’t like yelling at him. I want him to eat. I want him to be healthy. I don’t want him to go to bed hungry. All of these thoughts are running through my head because if he does not eat it is a reflection of my parenting.
Well, what I say has meaning, what I do has meaning, but above all else I am ultimately not in control. I like to think I am but I am not. These children are not my own. Their bodies are not mine. I am their mother and they need to listen and do as I say but I do and say in a negative way sometimes.
For example: Tonight at dinner we had pizza…. Oakland’s FAVORITE! I thought tonight will be easy he’ll eat this up in no time especially after having soccer.. nope I was wrong. He only wanted 1 small, tiny piece. Ainsley eats more than him most of the time and it gets to me. I raise my voice and tell him that he needs to obey and eat his dinner… he argues back with me and this arguing will go on and on// because I let it. I have to win. Whatever way necessary. NO, that is not how I want it to go but usually is.
I cater to Oakland. I give him dinners that I know he will eat. If we are having pasta his is left plain. The rest of ours has sauce on it. Am I a bad mom for doing that? No. Is it a pain? Yes.
I need to just let go of this fight. If he is hungry I need to know that he will eat. He won’t starve. He will eventually eat something.
He’s already a skinny boy so I worry that he isn’t getting the proper nutrition. Worry- ugh I despise you. Worry is not from the Lord.
What the Bible says about worry: Matthew 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
God is in constant control. He is the giver of all good things. He is the reason I am here. He is the reason I am a mother. He is everything. To God be the glory and the honor, Amen!
Let’s give this worry to the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of eating I wanted to showcase a few of my favorite eating items!
It's so tough!!! Right now Elliott is a power water but I'm just waiting for the ball to drop and he will turn around and decide not to eat anything just because he can (I'm a terrible picky eater so how can I even really blame him?! He will get it honestly!)
You are doing great momma!
I have to get some of those sippy cups! 🙂
He's a power eater!! I guess that's not a real word… But that he is! Ahaha
You are so sweet holly! It's hard! Power eater lol that's Ainsley! The sippy's are great!
Britany, we also don't enforce any type of "You have to eat it" or "You have to clear your plate" type of rule. I think that promotes an unhealthy relationship with food. My son is also on the smaller side, BUT I know that if he is hungry he WILL eat. And that is a rule in our house, if you don't eat the food you're given, that's all there is. We also will often leave food a little plainer or cater slightly to our children's taste though because it truly isn't worth the struggle and the argument.
I think the important thing is to know your child, which I'm sure you do. I basically know by now what foods my children do and don't like, so when they are fighting me on a food I KNOW they've had before and enjoyed, I don't put up with it. I do encourage my kids to at least try everything, but they don't have to finish it by any means. I also know that some kids are texture eaters so some thigns are jsut goign to be a lot harder than others…
I feel like that comment was really rambling, sorry. 🙂
I'm nervous about this phase! She already protests with her bottles sometimes. But with a toddler or adolescent I fear it's going to be a whole different battle.
I am so worried about this with our future children because I was the same way as a child. My mom use to make my brother and I two different meals because we both liked different things and nobody would eat the actual dinner she made. I hope my child isn't the same or worse as me!
I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old. And I feel your pain! Sometimes my little one eats more than her big sister!!! Butttttt I do know that with growth spurts and them changing everything from routines to learning, every 3 months it seems. I just hold out. I just hope that next phase will be easier. Until then I share all the healthy food I can. I def am a "this is what is for dinner. Eat or not" and it's hard. But I can't be catering my meal making to three picky eaters (husband and two kids). Our jobs are hard enough with out meal planning being a pain! You will look back and laugh when he starts eating like a football player 😉 hang in there momma!!
My 6 year old is a picky eater and we used to battle about food a lot. Someone once told me that as long as food is available, no child will starve. We started making a rule that said that you had to try what was given to you, but if you didn't like it, you didn't have to finish it as long as you gave it a good effort and tried more than a tiny bite. We have actually found a lot of new things he likes by doing this. Q would get himself so worked up about trying things that the second it touched his lips he would gag and occasionally puke. It was always in his head though – he was psyching himself out. Since I've relaxed a bit more with him, he seems to be more willing to try things. Often I will just put it on his plate first to see if he'll try it. It's a tough phase, hang in there mama!
I have problems from my 7 yr old and no problems from my 4 yr old. It's hard when they're so picky but I too have gotten to letting my oldest get down without eating if that's what he wants but I don't let him have anything else and eventually he will eat , even veggies! 😀 I hope the struggle eases for you soon.