Saying no is pretty difficult for my especially when it comes to saying it to my children. I don’t want to let them down or hurt their feelings. I know that I am not always going to please them. I am a huge people pleaser and hate when someone is upset with me. I really let it get to me.
Children are inevitable for asking over and over again for something that they want. I am really trying to teach Oakland ( Ainsley is a bit too young yet) to obey what I say right away. This verse has been instilled in him all summer…
“If you love me, you will obey what I command.” John 14:23
and that is exactly what I recite to him when he is being disobedient. He does not like knowing that I am sad and that my heart breaks when he is disobedient, but even MORE when Jesus is sad. That’s just it we act out of love and when we don’t obey that is showing that person that we don’t love them. That we don’t love Jesus??? That is NOT what I want the Lord to think.
I do love Jesus so my actions need to be a reflection of that love.
What makes saying no even harder is when my ALMOST 2 YEAR OLD says ” peeeeeeeease” over and over in the cutest voice possible.
I have to be firm with her and try to re-direct her. I also try and not use the word no, but say something positive instead. For example ” Can I have a piece of candy?” ” You just had a snack. A piece of candy probably isn’t the best choice.” Something along those lines. 🙂
Is saying NO hard for you? What makes saying NO so hard?
Yes I am so bad at saying NO :/ I am soooo fragile when I upset people I get all tore up ! And like you said my kids ask over and over and so sweet ! And then I think what if o don't let them and one day regret it… Nothing major even the simple things. It's definitely hard for me so at least the not on alone 🙂
Yes I don't want to regret it one day but also need to be firm and stand my ground! Glad we aren't alone 😉
I totally understand. It is hard. I am nowhere near the best at it, but I try to remember that the times that I have to say no, or they don't get their way, or they have to go without is really healthy and important for them and then that makes me feel better. But those toddler voices are just so precious!
Yes, so hard! I agree, super important because they will be told no a lot throughout their lives :/
Saying no is definitely hard. Thanks so much for sharing!
It sure is! Thank you for reading! 🙂
I struggle big time with saying no. My mind always goes to “what if”…”What if I die today, will that little no matter?” things like that. It’s me like a ton of bricks. I am going to start using that verse. Thank you for that beautiful reminder, sweet friend.
YES! I totally agree! I'm glad I could remind you love! 🙂
My kids gang up on me and beg…it's SOOO hard to say no…and I give in more than I should. It's hard!!! xox Christine
oh no!! 🙁 so hard! Glad I am not alone!
I love that you are using scripture to teach your son discipline.
thank you SO much! It's super important to me that I use it 🙂 Thanks for reading!
Saying no can be hard sometimes. As parents, we naturally want our children to be happy. I like how you keep it positive and give reasons for why you're saying no. I think explaining our decisions definitely helps our children understand that we have good reasons for saying no. Ultimately, it's good for them to learn that they can't always have everything they want.
Thank you for your feedback! Yes, so so good!
I give in too much too and it's because I want them happy. I'm getting better at saying no sometimes because my kids are teens and once in awhile, attempt to manipulate my answer. I'm onto their game. 😉
me too Melanie!!! I am a huge people pleaser 😉
It is so so hard! Especially when they have that little peeeeeeease down pat, it breaks a mamas heart! But in the long run its the best thing for everyone involved keep telling yourself that, you're an amazing mom!
YESSSSSSSS! Thank you so much for the encouragement sweet friend!
Ahh your fam is so stinkin' cute! It is hard to say no to our little ones, especially when they're so sweet and so cute! Ugh!
aw thanks love! It truly is, the struggle is REAL my friend.
It is so hard when they learn their manners and start adding "please" to the question! But my husband helps me be consistent and firm with our parenting. I can't imagine being a single parent, single parents are troopers.
extremely hard girly!!!!! Me either, thank the Lord for husbands! 🙂
I understand completely! I am having to learn to say no this week while dealing with everyone and their cousin wanting to host bridal showers. I'm flattered by the attention, but it's too much sometimes!
I'm not a mum but I love baby clothes lol… 😉
And shopping for all my friends who have babies 🙂
I can totally understand what you're saying here! I'm pretty good at saying no, but as much as I want them to be obedient, I want them to understand grace. I want them to know that grace is the true story of Jesus. He gives us grace time and time again that we don't deserve, and I think that's a bigger lesson than obedience sometimes. I try to teach them that there is nothing they can do that would make me love them less, but there's also nothing they could do to make me love them more, and a way to show love is through obedience. Hang in there, momma. The fact that you even care about his obedience means he's leaps and bounds ahead of some kids 😉
YES, GRACE!!! We so do not deserve it and glad you brought it up!!! Thanks for reading!
I'm not sure if this is a bad thing but a lot of the time I don't have too much trouble saying no to my toddler. I'm not sure why…but I do have those moments where it can be hard. The "No" teaches them so much more than all the yeses though. Great post!
Staying firm is hard enough with my puppy I can't imagine when Sawyer is old enough to verbally ask for things! But you are right about saying no and saying it positively!
It's so hard for me too!! Especially when it's so much easier to just give them the candy to avoid the begging and potential meltdown!
yes… this is so hard for me. i need to get these verses memorized because i feel like they are the perfect responses!!!
I need to start using that verse! I wish my littel one obeyed me. Its so hard to say know only because I know when I say know there will be tears and screams and then it usually applies the mood to the rest of the day. sigh I need to keep trying!
Saying no IS really hard for me! Mostly because I want my son to know that he has good ideas and that he can accomplish them. I don't want to stifle his confidence or decision-making abilities! But sometimes we just can't put the dog in the oven. 😀 😀 😀 (Most recent request that I have to deny.)
I have actually never had a hard time saying 'no' to my children. My husband on the other hand…he's a pushover and the kids know it. If you ask my children they will say "Mom's so mean but dad is awesome." Little do they know that one day they will have kids and will realize…."Wow! Mom really must have had a hard time saying no to us." While I get the attitude and not so cute faces anymore, I do know that the word "no" will also help them in the long wrong.
The best piece of advice, consistency. You don't always have to say 'no'. Just be consistent when saying 'no' and before you know it, the kids will understand.
Ugh yes! "Please please please!!" is the hardest! But boundaries show them we care. Thanks for the scripture and reminder!
It is so great to use that bible verse. I am totally going to steal that idea. :0
It is SO hard for me, too. I try to remind myself that God encourages discipline. I find comfort in reading scripture that reminds me that He is behind us.
We make decisions together. I give options, like blue shirt or red shirt.
I feel like all I do is say no lately. But I also know that it's my job to keep my boys safe, and that I am the parent. I love that verse!
Saving that verse, and making sure I pull it out next time my daughter has a moment. I so needed this today!
I can already tell this is going to be a daily struggle in my house at my daughter gets older…she's got the SWEETEST please?? Face and also knows when to pull out all the stops to get what she wants. I'm doomed. Haha great post!
i was a pleaser for a good portion of my childhood and to this day still wince, a bit, at conflict. Saying no, with a reason and compromise, has been relatively smooth with our 2 1/2 year old little man. We explain there is a time and place for certain things and try to make him giggle in the process.