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The Ashmores Blog

/ Adoption, Fall Fashion, Motherhood, Style, Teacher, Working mom

MY adoption story.

I have been wanting to share my adoption story for quite some time now. I believe everyone has a story to tell and that circumstances can make or break someone.

We all face trials. We all suffer pain. We all experience joy. We all get hurt. We all have a story to tell. Here is mine.

I was born September 28, 1984. I had a ton of dark hair.  Teri gave birth to me and then gave me to Jan and JC ( my mom and dad). She chose adoption for many reasons. One, she was only 16 at the time and was not able to support me financially. Two, she was not married nor had a boyfriend at the time. I was conceived during a one night stand. My mom offered to help Teri raise me but she wanted me to have a normal family… a mom AND a dad.

She did the only thing she knew to do. She chose life. Some told her to  take the easy way out and have an abortion. I can’t even imagine the pain and heartache of giving up a child. It is one of the most selfless things a human being can ever do.

My childhood was great, I played sports, had an amazing family. I spent a ton of my time at my grandparents house. I remember in elementary school finding my birth certificate and my mom’s name was not on it.

She then told me the truth about being adopted. I totally remember not being upset. It was almost like being adopted was normal. I wasn’t treated any differently. My mom and dad were my mom and dad.

Teri was supposed to wait until  I was 21 to contact me. She could not wait and eventually made a phone call to me and was in my neighborhood one day. I was heading to an event for school. I was a sophomore. I distinctively remember passing her on my street. She was in a car full of people I did not know but as I drove by they all stared at me. It was the most bizarre thing. She called me and asked if we could meet at the school in my neighborhood. I said okay and did not call my mom to tell her what just happened.

We met. It was crazy. I couldn’t believe I was staring at the face of the woman who gave me up for adoption. I didn’t think we looked alike. We were about the same height but that was all.

We hugged and then I was on my way. She then drove back to Dallas with her family. I called my mom and told her what happened. After that moment Teri and I started a relationship. We talked on the phone and then she came to my HS graduation 2 years later. After I graduated  I went and stayed with her and her then husband for a few days! It was so strange sleeping in her house but also kind of cool. Her husband had a daughter some years younger than me and we got to hang out. Teri and Chuck took me to a college I was thinking about attending in Dallas and then it turns out I was accepted to that college and started 2 months later!

I would see Teri on the weekends and spend the night occasionally. I did my laundry at her house and got really close to her sister. They were amazing to me. SO kind and giving. They helped me financially my first 2 years of college.

I remember the day I brought Jerod to Teri’s apartment. She made him a sandwich and put Doritos in the middle and smashed it hard with her hand. It was so funny and Jerod loved her.

She was loud, smoked cigs, had cats, didn’t care for fashion, but loved me so so so much. I knew it from the moment I met her. She was obsessed with me. I loved her too.

She came to my wedding, Oakland’s baby shower and  then after Oakland was born. She LOVED Oakland. That was her grandson. Her pride and joy. He knew her for 4 years. She developed lung cancer in 2013. It hit her hard and fast. She wanted SOOOO badly to meet and hold Ainsley. She got to do that the month she died. She held Ainsley ( barely) in October 2013. Ainsley was 2 months old and Teri was so fragile and skinny it took everything she had to hold my newborn. This was hands down the hardest thing to watch.

We said our goodbyes and I made sure she knew how much I loved her and how amazing of a woman she was and also mentioned how much God loves her. She died on Halloween later that month. Oakland was an Indian and Ainsley was a sheep, we were trick-or-treating and then I get the call from Debbie. I knew at the moment I saw her name  that she was calling to tell me Teri had passed away.

I attended her funeral and that’s where I found out more about Tommy, my birth father. I knew he lived in Louisiana and that he had other children. I contacted him on Facebook and never heard back. I figured he wanted nothing to do with me or maybe he was not able to find the words to say to write back..

Well eventually one of his cousins( I think) emailed me and said she knew how to contact him. I texted him and he texted me right back. We texted for about a year probably every day. He ordered a DNA test and it came back 99.9% that he was my birth father.

He came to The Woodlands to meet my family. This was all God. I met some of my siblings. We talked, we look similar but I am taller. 😉 haha

We went to New Orleans to hang with him and his family the next summer. THIS hurt some of my family. My grandmother found out and was devastated..she chose to not talk to me or see my kids and I for about 6 months.

This was extremely hard because this was my grandma, the one I was VERY close with, the one I lived with for a while, the one I spent almost every weekend with.

ONLY God could restore this hurt and pain she felt. I felt horrible but knew in my heart that I needed to meet Tommy. God did the rest.

I am so grateful that everything was restored, my grandmother and I talk now and I am so thankful to be adopted. God is so good y’all and he used this for His glory. I never ONCE blamed God for Teri giving me away.

Fall Style with a Jumpsuit


 Fall Style with a Jumpsuit

Fall Style with a Jumpsuit

Fall Style with a Jumpsuit


 Fall Style with a Jumpsuit

Fall Style with a Jumpsuit

It’s who I am.  I am adopted and praise God for that.

Jumpsuit: Ruby Claire Boutique

Clutch:Botkier

Shoes: Elaine Turner

Photos: Nectar Tyson

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Comments

  1. You are so beautiful my friend. Inside and out. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story. You are an amazing testament of God’s grace and love. <3

  2. I love this! You are so positive and so, so right. God has an amazing plan in store for each and every one of us. It is great you were able to have a relationship with your birth parents and that your parents have supported you through it all. That’s a true testament to God’s love.

    • Aw thank you Trista!!!!! Yes girl He does! I am SO thankful for knowing both of them!!! Thank you for reading!

    • Thank you so much my friend!!!! I SO appreciate your words, tears, and sharing my story! 🙂

  5. Wow. I’m in the process of writing Teck’s adoption story and it’s neat to read yours! I’m surprised you use the terminology “gave me up” when talking about Teri. When I worked at a crisis pregnancy center we always told the girls that they were “placing” their child into the loving arms of parents that can provide and care for them. And friends who have adopted themselves usually cringe when people use those words. “Giving them up”. I guess because it sounds like they were just given away, as if their life was meaningless, which is far from truth. I’m so glad that this is your story! I’m sure your story has impacted many lives! It’s a gospel story for sure.

    • Thank you so much! Yeah I use that term a lot simply because giving me up was her only option. I know my life is not meaningless but I can so see how some people might think that. Thanks for reading love!

  6. I’m in tears! This is such a beautiful story! I can relate in some ways being half adopted. I love your story. I’ve always wanted to adopt, and I 100% believe in trusting God’s plans. You are amazing. Simple as that. Love you girl!💛

    • Aw Dawn!!!!! You are the sweetest!!!!!! That’s so cool, I didn’t know that about you! I so appreciate your words my friend!

  8. Such a beautiful story!! You are an inspiration sweet friend! God is certainly on your side! ❤️❤️

  10. I love your outlook! My Mom & Aunt were both adopted. My Aunt was adopted when she was 3, didn’t speak a word of English, only French/Cajun & still talks to her bio siblings (her Mom passed during her childbirth & her father knew he was dying when he placed her with my Grandparents). My Mom on the other hand doesn’t want to know anything about her bio parents, we don’t even know there names. I’m really curious, but it is what it is. It’s pretty funny though when members of our family talk about how much Aunt & I look alike totally forgetting she’s adopted lol.

    • Thank you so much Katie!! Oh wow!!! That is crazy!!!!!! It’s really crazy when people think you look like them.. I got that ALL the time with my mom too!

  11. Such a beautiful story! I lost my mom to lung cancer six months ago… Two months before I gave birth to my second child. My biggest wish was for my mom to hold her grandchild, but unfortunately that never happened.
    I love how positive you are! You are right, God is great!

  12. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! You are definitely a testimony to God’s amazing work. Love you, friend. Totally teared up while reading this.

  13. Love this! Thanks for sharing your heart! I loved seeing how God can bring things together for good and for HIS glory. Oh and you look BEAUTIFUL in these pictures!

  18. You are amazing my friend! Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. I enjoyed reading it and admire your trust and faith in God. It is inspiring!

  21. I am happy this worked out for you. However stories like this is why I advocate for Open Adoption whenever possible and disclosure to adopted children from day one. It was different back when you were adopted and it is so awesome that the majority of your family was supportive.
    My son was adopted from birth as well and we have an open relationship with his birth mom and her family. We are truly blessed to know and love them. Sadly we are not able at this time to have any relationship with his birth dad because he did not want to. I do keep track of his information and where he is living so I can one day share with my son who he is.
    Adoption is a blessing to us and to his birth family. If you would like to read our story check it out at everygoodthing.com

    • Thank you so much for reading!!!! That’s awesome that you were able to adopt!!!! What a blessing you are!

  23. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story! I think that adoption is one of the most beautiful things I have every witnessed, and I have a special place in my heart for open adoptions where the birth family is still involved. I know it can get really tricky and messy, but I’m hoping one day to be able to adopt a child AND have a relationship with the birth Mom. I don’t hear many stories from adult adoptees, so I really loved reading this!

  24. Wow what an incredible story! So glad you were adopted by a loving family, had a great childhood, and that you had the chance to reconnect with your birth mother and birth family!

  25. Brittany, what a beautiful life you have lived with a courageous, open heart. Thank you for sharing such an intimate piece of your heart with us, and for reminding us to embrace our journey — no matter the circumstance — as an incredible gift from God. Beautiful, mama.

  27. What a lovely story, Brittany. Thank you for sharing. My niece is adopted, and my husband and I played a significant role in facilitating her adoption into our family. I hope she grows up to have a joyful, positive outlook like you have, and I hope she always knows she is loved.

  28. Hey Brittany, beautiful story, thank you for sharing. It’s so great that you’ve been able to meet all those other family members and form all those new friendships! Your family has been so blessed.

  30. What a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing it. I’m so happy that you got the chance to know your birth mom before she passed.

  31. I wasn’t able to comment from my phone yesterday but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this. You poured out your heart and put such a positive spin on adoption. I think it’s wonderful that you were able to get to know your birth family!

  32. I love how much you open up. You have such a beautiful heart. It’s amazing how you have taken a situation that many face and shut out with anger but worked through it and built more relationships with such grace. Amazing ❤️

  33. Brittany! This is such a beautiful story. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, but so happy you got to have a relationship with her. God is so good!

  34. This made me cry.
    I have multiple friends that just adopted, and some that are waiting for their babies. It’s such a rich rich blessing to read your story, because my heart is so heavy watching them wait.
    Thank you for sharing this. I will share with them. You’re story will help others!
    XOXO, Amaris // http://www.crumbsandglamour.com

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